No matter our age, we all have the right to be treated with respect. That includes being valued, listened to and treated with patience by our families, friends and carers. But even people we trust can fail to treat us respectfully.
It might happen constantly, or only occasionally. Either way, not being treated with respect is upsetting and painful. It lowers our self-esteem. It can stop us enjoying life and participating in society. And it denies our rights.
People who treat us with respect use kindness and patience. They listen to what we’re saying. They don’t talk down to us or treat us like children. They don’t snap or yell at us or call us by names that we don’t like. They don’t make assumptions about what we want or what we’re capable of. And they see us as individuals, not stereotypes.
For older people, disrespectful treatment often arises from ageist viewpoints. ‘Ageism’ is stereotyping, discrimination and mistreatment based on a person’s age. Ageism towards older people generally comes from entrenched and outdated ideas of what ‘being older’ means. People are often surprised when they realise that the way they think about older people is ageist. They might never have seen their behaviour that way.
It’s important to know that we might not recognise it either. Have you ever thought about whether the way a family member or friend treats you could be ageist or disrespectful?
Do you ever feel ignored, like no one listens to your opinions or preferences? Do you find that other people don’t stick to the boundaries you’ve set around your time or space? Do you sometimes have strong reactions to a particular family member or friend? If these things are happening a lot, or repeatedly, they could be a sign of elder abuse.
‘Elder abuse’ is a term used to describe abusive behaviour towards an older person or a lack of care that results in harm or distress to an older person. It can happen in all kinds of relationships and situations, and it can be deliberate or unintentional. It can be hard to recognise, and there are several different types. Disrespectful treatment could be psychological or emotional abuse.
It's important for our happiness and wellbeing that we stop and think about respect, so we can do something about it if we’re not receiving it. Are you really happy and comfortable with the way your family and friends treat you?
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