Everyone has the right to make decisions that affect their life, which allows us to live our lives the way we want. Our ability to make our own decisions is often called our “decision-making capacity”.
Sometimes, changes such as age-related cognitive decline, illness or acquired disability affect our ability to make some, or all, of our decisions on our own. This is called “impaired decision-making capacity” or “losing our capacity”. We may then need someone to help us make our decisions or to make them for us.
But even if we do need help, the decisions are still ours, and we still have the right to make them the way we want. We even have the right to make “bad” or not-so-great decisions!
Our decision-making capacity relates to specific situations and decisions. We may be able to make some decisions but not others, or we may be able to make decisions in the morning but not in the evening. We may be able to make particular decisions with support from someone else.
So no one should assume that we can’t make any decisions at all. No one should take our decision-making into their own hands without our consent. No one should make us feel bad for wanting to make our own decisions.
If these sorts of things are happening, we may feel hurt, distressed and disempowered. The effects can be psychologically, emotionally and financially damaging. What we’re experiencing can turn into coercive control or elder abuse.
‘Elder abuse’ is a term used to describe abusive behaviour towards an older person or a lack of care that results in harm or distress to an older person. It can happen in all kinds of relationships and situations, and it can be deliberate or unintentional. It can be hard to recognise, and there are several different types. Having someone ignore our wishes in decision-making could be psychological abuse.
There are lots of ways we can ensure that our decisions are made the way we want.
Supported decision-making helps us when we can manage some, but not all, of the steps involved in making a decision.
Enduring powers of attorney and medical directives record our wishes and preferences for others to follow if we need them to.
Guardianship appointments, which are made for us, can protect our decision-making preferences if we unexpectedly lose our capacity.
Setting clear boundaries with our adult children can give us room to decide how we want things to be.
Do you feel in control of how your decisions are made? If someone is making decisions for you, have you asked them to do so? Are you happy with the way they are making decisions for you?
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