Are older people resistant to change?

Change frequently means new, or more, options. That sounds great, but dealing with it isn’t always so simple.

Top 3 messages about understanding older people’s experiences of change:

1. Older people don’t choose to be stubborn about change – psychology and circumstances can make it harder for them to navigate.

2. Questions of autonomy, agency and identity are often involved, especially when the changes are out of the person’s control.

3. Patience and empathy can enable families, carers and service staff to provide support instead of stereotyping and frustration.

Your ageing dad wants you to take him to the bank to do some banking. You remind him that he could make the transactions online, the way you showed him, but he refuses to do online banking. You know it would be much simpler and quicker. Why is he being so stubborn about this?

All over social media, you may see the same complaints: older people ‘refuse to change’ and are ‘stubborn’ and ‘set in their ways’. But is it really stubbornness, or could that be just a stereotype? Is there more going on behind the resistance?

Whether it’s social, political, technological or personal change, our minds can help or hinder us from navigating it. Understanding how can help families, carers and service workers respond more helpfully when an older person is struggling with change.

The psychology of change resistance

The human brain is designed to help us survive. It seeks out the most efficient way to do something, and that’s why it likes predictability. Repeating a behaviour or process creates pathways in our brains that we follow again and again, saving ourselves uncertainty and energy as they become more familiar. Changing these pathways is slower, more draining and less efficient.

So what happens in our brains now that we’re presented with more and more social, technological, material and personal options? Or when we’ve already experienced decades of (increasingly rapid) change, as people in their 60s, 70s and 80s have? Here are some of the psychological concepts that may apply.

’Future shock’

Way back in 1970, US author and futurist Alvin Toffler wrote about ‘future shock’: the disorientation people experience when the rate of change in their environment exceeds their ability to adapt. He predicted that the pace of social and technological change would accelerate – which it has – and that this acceleration would cause people to feel overloaded with information and mentally overwhelmed.

Change frequently means new, or more, options. That sounds great, but dealing with it isn’t always so simple. Have you ever been confronted by lots of options (‘cognitive overload’) only to freeze up (‘decision paralysis’) and make no decision at all (‘decision avoidance’)? It can happen to anyone, regardless of their age.

I get really lost when having to make decisions, especially when there are soooo many options for everything because we grew up with more limited options … the decision paralysis is really bad for a lot of people in my age group.  —Laura (31)

Many older people grew up with even fewer social, technological and material options than the later generations did, so it’s not surprising if sometimes they shut down in the face of widespread change. In addition, they have navigated 60 to 80 years of decision-making and change, so by now they may simply be tired of it.

As a result, they might cling to tried and true options, like banking in person. It’s known, and it’s easier than comprehending, assessing, choosing, learning and applying a host of alternatives.

Stability zones

One strategy Toffler suggested for countering the predicted chaos of constant and rapid change was to create ‘stability zones’ in our lives: parts of life we keep as constant as possible. These stability zones counterbalance the turbulence elsewhere, so if they’re threatened, we may become protective of them.

An older person may feel overwhelmed by social, technological and personal change because they’ve seen so much of it during their lifetime. At such times, their home, possessions or decisions may then become stability zones. Then, when you try to ‘help’ by decluttering their home or moving them into care, they may dig their heels in – because you’re breaching a stability zone.

We had a home phone made of wood attached to the wall and when we turned the handle, an operator asked who we wanted to be connected with. Our number was the name of the town and number 9. [Now] I have seen … computers, the Internet, mobile phones, smart phones, smart watches … – Phillip (66)

Learning and unlearning knowledge

Did you know that when you learn a new way to do something, you also have to ‘unlearn’ the old ways? Recent neuroscience research indicates that the ability to discard information we don’t need can diminish with age, leaving older information there to interfere with the new. Suppressing old knowledge and unlearning something increase the cognitive load for people at any age.

For example, Kate is a blood donor nurse, and her employer regularly refines and improves the standardised process for taking donations. And with every process change, Kate must replace the steps and sequence she already knows with new ones. She was surprised by the effort this takes.

‘It takes more thinking to remember the new process, and follow it, and not follow the old one, than it does to just do things the old way. —Kate (29)

Fluid vs crystallised intelligence

Our intelligence, or ‘cognitive ability’, comprises different types of ability. Our general intelligence (ability to learn, recall and apply information) consists of 'fluid intelligence' and 'crystallised intelligence':

• Fluid intelligence is comprehension, reasoning, problem-solving and ability to adapt. It peaks in early adulthood, then declines.

• Crystallised intelligence is information we’ve learned and stored through experience, culture or education, such as vocabulary and facts. It generally remains stable throughout life but can decline in old age.

This means that some older people may simply be less able to pivot or adapt when things change than their children or grandchildren are, even though they have a vast store of knowledge and experience to draw on. Their reluctance to change isn’t stubbornness, but decreased ability.

Autonomy, agency, acceptance

You might know an older person who refuses a change that would be beneficial. Maybe they won’t use the walking frame the hospital or care service provided. The frame will probably help them get around more easily and safely, so why won’t they use it?

Autonomy (freedom to choose) and agency (ability to act on our choices) are important for our wellbeing at any age. Their loss may be hard for us to accept, so we persist in doing things the way we always have.

Many of the physical or cognitive changes that can come with ageing may significantly affect an older person’s autonomy and agency. The walking frame option is confronting – a clear sign that the person is no longer as independent as they were, either permanently or temporarily. So their refusal could indicate a struggle to accept their loss of autonomy.

Supporting older people through change

The reality is that many older people do embrace and adapt to change, especially when they feel supported and have a say in the process. But when change feels imposed or threatens someone’s sense of control, resistance is a very natural response.

Often, people are more likely to manage a challenge better if they feel they’re supported and any difficulty is acknowledged. But when we assume an older person is ‘being stubborn’, or generalise their behaviour, we overlook what’s really going on for the individual person.

Rather than assuming what’s going on, try thinking about what the change means for the older person. What might they be worried about losing? What is it about the change that could be difficult for them, considering their history and circumstances? Try asking simple, respectful questions such as, ‘What feels hardest about this?’ or ‘What would make this situation easier?’

By talking person-to-person instead of making assumptions, you may hear answers that can help you be more empathetic and lead to better solutions.

It takes a village: intergenerational practice

If you’re interested in countering stereotypes, intergenerational practice (IGP) is one way communities can bridge the gaps between younger and older people. IGP uses structured programs and activities to bring together people of different age groups, allowing them to swap skills, knowledge and experiences.

Loneliness and disconnection can be eased, age stereotyping is broken down, and all participants benefit. Examples include preschool sessions held in residential aged care facilities and community centres pairing older gardeners with (sometimes very) young ones.

Recognising the potential for harm

Frustration and impatience with an older person are feelings that may sometimes seem justified and natural. However, acting on them can be hurtful to the older person, and if it continues over time, it can cause real harm. In some situations, it may even amount to elder abuse.

Elder abuse includes behaviour that results in harm or distress to an older person. The way we treat an older person – or anyone else – will usually have a psychological or emotional impact on them. The question in any experience of impatience or frustration is: are we having a good or a bad impact? A bad effect could well cross the line into psychological elder abuse.

Patience and empathy are more likely to help people navigate change and reduce the risk of elder abuse. They can also turn a ‘stubborn’ moment into an opportunity for you to better understand, and be closer to, the older person in your life.

Find out more

• Why is change getting harder?

• Defining elder abuse

• The damaging effects of impatience

• Rethinking 'sundowning': 'unmet needs' in people living with dementia

• Bridging generations: how intergenerational practice strengthens communities